A number of famous/ amusing quotes PART 2

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If hackers ran the world, there'd be no war--lots of accidents, maybe.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.

If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.

It's when you're innocently looking at ants under your magnifying glass on a hot summers day that you notice just how spontaneously they start to explode...

Join the army, meet interesting people, and kill them.

Live long enough to be a problem to your kids.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye.

Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver.

My personal opinion is that apple is a fruit and that one should not mix fruits with computers because that one might end up with a Crapple.

On the other hand, the early worm gets eaten.

Our strength is that we don't have any weaknesses. Our weakness is that we don't have any real strengths.

People die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and often also the funniest.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

Statistics show every two minutes another statistic is created.

The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.